You begin by noticing it. You just did. That's the first and hardest step.
Every time you catch the thought — "I don't deserve this" — practice the counter-thought: "I deserve to be healthy by whatever means work for my body." You won't believe it at first. That's fine. Neuroplasticity doesn't require belief, just repetition.
I also recommend a practice I use with clients: write a letter to your former self. Not to say goodbye, but to say "I see you. You were doing your best. And you deserved help." Because the imposter syndrome is partly about loyalty to who you were — like getting better is somehow a betrayal of the person who struggled.
It's not. It's honoring them.
I have a different flavor of this. I lost 60 lbs and now I'm scared to enjoy being thinner because I think it makes me shallow. Like if I enjoy fitting in airplane seats or shopping at regular stores or getting hit on at the bar, then I'm admitting that thin is better. And I don't want to believe that. I spent years in body positivity spaces saying "my worth isn't my weight."
So now I feel like a traitor to my former community AND an imposter in my new body. I belong nowhere.
Bethany, you can hold both truths at once. Your worth was NEVER your weight — not then, not now. AND you're allowed to enjoy the practical benefits of a smaller body in a world that was not designed for larger ones. Those aren't contradictions. That's just navigating reality with nuance.
You didn't betray body positivity. Body positivity should include the right to make medical decisions about your own body without guilt. If it doesn't include that, it was never really about your autonomy.
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View ResultsUpdate: someone complimented me at the grocery store today. I just said "thank you." No disclaimers. No apologies. No mention of medication.
It was physically uncomfortable. Like swallowing a rock. But I did it.
Baby steps.
that's not a baby step. That's enormous. I'm going to try it too.
Thank you all for this thread. I came in feeling like a fraud and I'm leaving feeling like someone who is allowed to take up less space without taking up less worth. If that makes sense.
We deserve to be here. In these bodies. However we got here.